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Shopping…

sucks.

Unless it’s for fun stuff in the dollar section.

Shopping for clothes, though… it sucks.

Two weeks ago I had the ‘pleasure’ of taking Chloë shopping for new ‘everything’. A growth spurt and a few weeks away from home suddenly meant that nothing she owned fit her properly. Her feet went from a kid’s size to a woman’s size seemingly overnight. I had purchased some women’s size 5-6 flip flops for her midsummer and now she needs an 8-9. In women’s. MY SIZE. She’s only 9!  She also needed new shirts, socks, and jeans. Jeans from the junior’s section. She’s a 24, by the way… I don’t know I ever wore a teeny tiny 24. I’m sure that’s probably a 0/2 or something… but of course her awesome mommy was able to find a pair of Seven brand jeans (read: $$$) for $12 at a local Plato’s Closet that are a size 24. (She loves them and barely takes them off long enough for me to wash them!)

This weekend, I ventured out once again with all 3 kiddos.  We headed to Once Upon a Child (a local kiddie thrift chain) I was pleasantly surprised to see a sign announcing ‘15% off ALL clothes’. I let Chloë look at the few items they had in her size, and she got another pair of jeans, an adorable jean vest, and a shirt from the boy’s section for a program she had at school today. (She needed something with a ‘sport’ on it– so she snagged an olive green skateboard themed shirt, threw her vest over it, and she looks awesome!) I was also able to pick up a few things for Killian since he needed winter clothes, too.

Mainly, though, we were there for Marley.

Over the past few weeks, she has gotten increasingly frustrated with her wardrobe. Earlier this year I had to re-buy her wardrobe as she deemed anything with any print/decoration/glitter as ‘itchy’ and was unable to tolerate wearing it. I bought shoes that were compatible with not wearing socks– although I found out that she does really well with Skidders since that’s all Killian can wear due to his pudgy feet. Unfortunately, I didn’t know if she would be able to tolerate them so I only snagged one  pair for her when they were 40% off and sales+finances haven’t quite matched up for another pair just yet.

Recently she has been wearing nothing more than panties (boyshorts only!) unless we are leaving the house. Now everything is ‘tight’. Pants are tight. Shirts are tight.

Seems like an easy fix– you just go up a size or two…..

Unless you’re shopping for Marley. Trying to pick clothes for her goes somewhat like this:

-Check for print of any kind. No screen print. Not a logo & not even a character.
-Check for embroidery. No embroidery. Not even if it’s soft. Not even if it’s holding on something ‘cute’ like a flower.
-Check for glitter. No glitter EVER. No exceptions. Not even if it’s really cute.
-Check for decorations. No sequins or glitter. If it’s REALLY cute, see above.
-Check arms on shirts– do they taper at the wrists? No tapering.
-Check legs on pants– do they taper at the ankles? See above.
-No. Put back that shirt. It has glitter. No amount of telling her how cute it is will change that.
-Check for tags– no tags/printed tags are the best.invention.ever. Any other tags must be easily removable.
-Check for ‘studs’– these odd little bump-like decorations. She tolerates those. How, I don’t know. But she does. They are ‘bumpy’ to her.
-Glitter on the studded design? Put it back. Just do it.
-Find a shirt that seems to pass the test.
-Suggest to Marley that she might like it and ask what she thinks.
-Brace for the worst.
-50/50 shot that she’ll like it.
-Pick myself off the ground and put the shirt in the cart.
-Rinse.Repeat.
-Head to check out. Fork over cash.
-Realize I’ve been there long enough that we need to eat.
-Grab a Marley approved snack and then head home.
-Attempt to get Marley to try on the clothes.
-Two shirts in and she is finished.
-Cut off tags & wash clothes. The return policy is crud anyway.
-Proudly hang up ‘new’ clothes in Mo’s closet and breathe a sigh of relief that it should be a good while before you have to do this again.

Spend the next week in utter disbelief as Marley parades around in only underwear while screeching about how “EVERYTHING IS TIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!” (Except for one pink leopard skort, a pair of mint green velour track pants, and a shirt that matches neither.)

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