Oh goodness…. today…. well, yesterday…. (Friday)….
Today was my day to pick Chloë up at the bus stop to begin her week with us and since she goes to school near Kohl’s, I figured it would be a great day to grab some clothes for Mo. (Ben handed me $20 in Kohls’ Cash the other night when he surprised me with a breadmaker.)
I had to run by Mo’s counselor to grab her office notes for our visit to Kennedy Krieger on Wednesday, so I stopped by on my way to pick up Chloë. After we got Chloë off the bus at 3:15, we drove by our awesome pediatrician’s office where I ran in to pick up their records on Marley. After a quick stop by Wendy’s to cash in a coupon I had for a free burger (read: cheap 3:30pm lunch for Mommy), we ran by Sally’s beauty to grab my hair dye and I let the girls each get a clip in extension (Chloë picked red, Mo picked blue.) and then we headed to Kohl’s.
I had explained to Marley that we need to get her some clothes that fit and are comfy, especially with our trip coming up.
Once inside, we grabbed some socks & underthings for Chloë, a shirt on an end rack for me (that I have yet to even try on, lol!) and went back towards the girl’s section.
Let’s just say, I love Kohl’s, but finding clothing for a little girl without some obnoxious amount of glitter/bejeweling/beads/etc. is nearly impossible.
I managed to find 3 shirts that fit the criteria on outward appearances and we all headed to the fitting room. Chloë and Mo went in and I told Marley that I would need to see the shirts if they fit. It wasn’t long before she began throwing them out under the door announcing that “They did not fit!”.
Hm. I scanned the racks a bit more and found some shirts in a girl’s size 7/8 with super smooth snaps that (since the shirt was NOT Mo’s size) went from the neck to her navel. “THAT should fix the issue of ‘tight’ head holes!”, I thought and took it in for her to try on.
She agreed, took the shirt, and closed the fitting room door.
And then it started………
I think I unsnapped it before giving it to her.. I think I showed her the snaps….. I’m fairly positive I did.
But somehow….. all Hell was about to break loose.
She rejected the shirt, squealing about it being too tight. I didn’t see how that was possible, so I asked to see the shirt on her. Too late, it was off.
I should have let it go. Why didn’t I let it go??
No. I just HAD to see it on her.
Have you ever tried to wrestle a greased piglet? Into clothing?
I imagine it would have looked/felt/sounded not unlike what was about to take place.
I’m begging Marley to put on the shirt so I can see where/how it’s too tight. (Especially since sometimes she gets words mixed up like big-small/tight-loose/hot-cold/etc; she knows what they mean, but sometimes the abstract use –ie: not in direct comparison to something– mixes her up.)
My begging ended up pleading and forcing….. THIS was *the* shirt. They had them in 4 colors and they were cute and 60% off!!!!!
Lets just say that Marley got loud quick…. looking back I feel horrible.. I was determined to get her SOMETHING…ANYTHING to wear. (And, to my defense, that shirt was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute when I finally got it on her!)
Anyway— I’m wrestling my angry piglet and she is screaming bloody murder when a Kohl’s employee comes into the dressing room.
Yep. That was a first.
I stammered an apology of, “I’m sorry—she…she has autism…..”
The saleswoman replied “Oh, it’s ok– we just have to check”
/sigh/ Game over.
We got no shirts for Marley.
I paid for the rest of what we managed to grab (woot for saving $64 and only spending $8 on my debit card!) and practically raced to the car with the kids in tow.
I called Ben & let him know it was going to be a “$5 hot & ready (pizza)” kind of night.
On the way home, still frazzled from the incident in Kohl’s, I remarked to Chloë, “Seriously? Like I’d steal a kid that was FREAKING out!?”.
I must say, though, that my statement to the saleswoman came as a bit of a shock to me. Marley’s not ‘autistic’ per say.. I mean, not only will we not have a formal diagnosis until Wednesday (can.not.wait!), but even ‘on the spectrum’ I don’t feel/think she has ‘classic’ autism. Why then autism? Because it’s ‘easy’. No, everyone doesn’t know exactly what characteristics make up a diagnosis on the spectrum, but it’s ‘easier’ to blurt out since most people at least know it exists. If I said “Oh, I’m sorry, she has Aspergers”, they’d probably give me directions to the nearest health department and wonder how a child contracted such a horrible thing. Of course, therein lies the problem— how do I expect people to understand if I am not able to explain/educate them as her mom? This is yet another reason that I am so excited for Wednesday— after that, I feel like I will finally be able to say with confidence “Marley has ________. That means ______. Ways to help are ________. Doing _______ triggers her really easily.” etc. I really didn’t realize how much having a ‘word for it’ means to me… her… us…. until now.
*Oh, and funny story– one day in the car, Chloë asked me if something was ‘because of Marley’s Aspergers’. Mo piped up, “HEY! I don’t have assburgers!!” All I managed in response was “how do you know?” and she quipped, “because I didn’t eat any!!!!!”. We really couldn’t argue with that logic and thankfully pulled into the driveway a moment later.*